I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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