the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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