I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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