apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just had sex on a roof
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
