She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
my liver is dry heaving
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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