I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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