I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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