i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
