He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
