I CAN MOONWALK!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
