Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
