So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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