the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
