I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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