Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
