I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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