margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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