I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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