this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
