You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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