Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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