it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
