Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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