I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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