We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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