Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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