Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
