I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize