is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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