If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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