The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
