I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
