new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
