I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
