Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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