I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
