How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
