If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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