Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
