Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
