yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
