I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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