He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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