I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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