have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
