Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
is that a dick in a sweater?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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