I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
