belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
