You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
