Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
