mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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