I am puke
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
