He passed out mid-signature
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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