It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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