we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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