You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize