i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
