Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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