Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
