eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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