She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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