Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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