We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
