am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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