It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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