And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
